At least one woman says it does. Hara Estroff Marano, editor-at-large of Psychology Today, claims that our heavily invasive parenting methods make life too easy for our children, who then don’t learn normal coping strategies. Then, she argues, when they do face problems down the road, they break down because they never learned to deal with the conflicts that arise in adult life.

From her book: Behold the wholly sanitized childhood, without skinned knees or the occasional C in history! Kids need to learn that you need to feel bad sometimes. We learn through experience, and we learn especially through bad experiences. Through disappointment and failure we learn how to cope.

She also states that parents rush to have their kids labeled so they can receive interventions instead of learning to work around issues, and that play is undervalued as a normal tool for social development (like learning self-control).

On that last point, we agree. The rest, I’m not so certain I buy. Yes, there are advantages to not giving your kid everything he wants; he learns patience and moderation. Disappointments are a normal part of life, and I don’t think kids should be shielded from every single one of them.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t admit that I don’t want to see my kids hurting, even if I know it’s a normal part of life. It’s hard not to jump in and immediately fix everything. And where do you draw the line?

Thoughts? Are we really screwing up our kids by being too involved?

Posted by Sunshine.

Maximize your pill’s effectiveness. Despite claims that the pill can be 99% effective, each year 2-8% of women using the pill end up pregnant. If starting or adding to your family isn’t currently in your plans, please consider these following tips:

Timing. Over the years for health reasons, the levels of Estrogen in the pill have been reduced. Ensure you take the pill at the same day every day.

Don’t skip. If you miss a day, double the does the enxt day. Watch out for breakthrough bleeding and consider using secondary birth control that cycle.

Watch your alcohol consumption. Alcohol is metabolized by the liver and that may also affect the way the pill is absorbed by the body.

Antiboitics. The jury is currently out on this, some say it impacts the pills effectiveness, others say the blood levels are not impacted. If in doubt, break out the secondary birth control.

Generic drugs. FDA allows for generic drugs to contain up to 15% variation. So if you are a fertile myrtle, you might want to consider speading the extra bit of money for the assurance.

Am I taking away her childhood? My almost 3 year old loves everything that her 9 year old big sister loves, but she especially loves High School Musical. I have always thought it cute that she dances to the songs mimicing the gestures. (gratuitous picture to the right) But I never actually thought that exposing her to this could cause her to grow up too fast, that it would expose her to things that are too big for her to understand.

Did I do a big no-no? I don’t think so. Firstly, I think it would be hard for her to to not be exposed to some degree to the things her big sis loves. We don’t own a lot of paraphenalia, but my youngest does have her sisters HSM dolls in her Barbie box. I don’t see a big difference there. and I honestly don’t think she understand the whole storyline/theme of the movies - she appears to only like the songs and dances. So, if I am burying my head in the sand here, so be it. I will save my abundance of “mommy guilt” for things a little bit more significant, thank you very much!

In an interesting new study, researchers found that getting cool kids to take an anti-smoking stance actually reduced the number of new smokers in the group by about twenty-five percent.

The study published in the journal Lancet took a different approach than most tobacco cessation programs aimed at youths by asking students to nominate others they viewed as influential or leaders to spread the anti-smoking message.

This would translate into a potential reduction of 43,000 14- to 15-year olds who take up smoking each year.

We already know that our kids face (or will face) peer pressure and the influence of the cool kids in school: what clothes to wear, what gadgets to pester parents for, etc. But I have to admit that I’d never quite thought about switching things around and using the status of popular kids to firm up positive, healthy mindsets in the general student populace.

Hey, whatever works, right?

Posted by Sunshine.

Now that one out of every three kids aged ten to twelve owns a cell phone, the benefits and risks are becoming increasingly clear for this age group.

So what? Almost every one of us adults has a cell phone glued to our ear at least a few times every day, so it was only a matter of time before kids started mimicking the trend. It’s just part of life now…but did you know that children using cell phones at the same time they attempt to cross the street are more likely to get hit by a car? A new study found strong evidence to support this claim.

Seventy-seven children aged 10 to 12 were set up in a virtual-reality environment which simulated a street with traffic coming from both directions. Children stood on a platform (the “curb”). When they stepped down from the curb, an avatar crossed the virtual street in their place.

“The children who were on the cell phone and were distracted during their crossing were significantly more likely to get hit by a car in the virtual environment,” Byington reported. “They were getting hit or almost getting hit at least [once], while the kids that weren’t on the cell phone didn’t get hit [at all].”

Who doesn’t get at least a little bit distracted when they’re talking to their significant other, best friend, or parent on the phone? I know I’m guilty of trying to do other things while I chat, and I doubt I do them as well as if I was completely focused on the task at hand, instead of the latest chapter in my drama-ridden best friend’s life.

Crossing the street, though (like driving!) is one of those things that just has to take priority. Parents, please let your children know that they should always finish their phone conversations before stepping out into the street. It just might save their lives someday.

Posted by Sunshine.

No, that’s not some plea for dirty comments.

The ’sex talk’ I mean is the ‘birds and bees’ conversation of old. You know, The Moment when you tell your kids where babies really come from, and how they get there. A new study shows that the big talk should really be more of an ongoing discussion.

“It’s important that parents set a foundation early on in talking with their kids about sex so that it becomes part of the norm in their household,” said study lead author Steven Martino, a behavioral scientist at RAND in Pittsburgh. “As children grow and have experiences, you want them to feel it’s natural to talk to their parents. When asked where they’d like to get their information, kids say from their parents more than anyone else.”

I don’t remember feeling that way as a teen. Hmm.

The study followed hundreds of teens and their parents. The families were divided into two groups. One group of parents completed a course in how to keep a discourse on sex and related topics open with your child; the other group did not.

Follow-up surveys were completed at one week, three months and nine months after the intervention began. The surveys were designed to assess 22 sex-related topics, such as the consequences of sex, how to make decisions about when to have sex, how to say no if you didn’t want to have sex, how well condoms prevent sexually transmitted diseases, and more.

[W]hen teens and their parents had more conversations — repetition — teens reported feeling closer to their parents and felt they could talk more openly with their parents about sex and other topics.

Go figure - the more you talk about something, the less taboo it becomes.

While I obviously haven’t been a parent long enough to encounter this situation, I can’t imagine making sex as closed-off a topic as it was during my adolescence. My parents basically told me, “Don’t do it before you’re married - premarital sex is a sin,” and left it at that. I didn’t follow their advice, such as it was, and I hope I can create a more informative, open atmosphere for conversations on sex when my kids are old enough to be curious. I’d love to not have to think about my kids having sex until they’re 40, but since that’s not rational, I’d still rather them come to me than shut me out.

Posted by Sunshine.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), at least 82 young people have died from what is commonly referred to as the “choking game.”

In the game, children use dog leashes or bungee cords wrapped around their necks or other means to temporarily cut blood flow to their head. The goal is a dreamlike, floating-in-space feeling when blood rushes back into the brain.

As many as 20 percent of teens and preteens play the game, sometimes in groups, according to estimates based on a few local studies. But nearly all the deaths were youths who played alone.

I had no idea youths actually did this (does choking sound like your idea of a fun pastime?), and apparently I’m not alone. Many parents are completely oblivious to this fad until unfortunate choking game-related events hit close to home.

CDC officials urged parents to be aware the fad exists, and to watch for possible warning signs like bloodshot eyes, marks on the neck, frequent and severe headaches, disorientation after spending time alone, and ropes, scarves or belts tied to bedroom furniture or doorknobs or found knotted on the floor.

The game is also known by names that include “blackout,” “space monkey” and “pass out.” It intrigues bright kids who like the idea of getting high without drinking or doing drugs, but it’s at least as dangerous.

Now you (and I) know.

Posted by Sunshine.

As we all wake from our tryptophan-induced comas (those of us who celebrated Thanksgiving, anyway), let’s reflect on what the big holidays mean to us. What will they mean to our children?

It’s easy to get swept up in the tide of commercialism, especially around Christmastime. As parents, we need to make sure that our kids are seeing the big picture - not just round after round of food and gifts.

HealthDay offers these tips to help us make holidays meaningful for the kids:

• Create traditions in the family that your children can look forward to. Talk about why it’s important to have traditions, and which ones are their favorites.
• Encourage children to volunteer, and to make donations and gifts for those who are less fortunate.
• As a family, make homemade gifts to give to friends and family members. Help your children understand that a gift doesn’t need to be something that’s bought from a store.
• Don’t let yourself get stressed during the holidays. Let your children see that it’s a time to enjoy spending together as a family. (I’ll let you know if I ever figure out how to remain stress-free during the biggest holidays of the year!)

What does your family do to celebrate the holidays in ways that outlast the turkey and the fat guy laden with presents?

Posted by Sunshine.

Tricks aside, Halloween is a fun holiday with hidden dangers. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has issued these tips to help keep your trick-or-treating safe:

• Buy (or make) flame resistant costumes. The label might say “Flame Resistant” - if not, at least look for flame resistant fabrics such as nylon and polyester. To lessen the chance of accidentally coming into contact with an open flame, stay away from costumes with baggy sleeves and other billowing parts (skirts, veils, etc.).
• Make sure you and your kids wear costumes that are visible to drivers at night.
• Trim costumes with reflective tape - bags too, if they’re not already brightly colored.
• Kids should carry flashlights.
• Make sure costumes are not too long and fit properly, to avoid entanglement/falls.
• Wear comfortable, well-fitting shoes.
• Hats and scarves should be securely fitted, to avoid slipping and obstructing your child’s view.
• Be sure that all masks have proper ventilation, are fitted well, and have adequate eye holes.
• Toy weapons and other accessories should be made of soft materials.

The CPSC also offers tips on treats and on how to safely decorate for the holiday. Have a safe, happy Halloween!

Posted by Sunshine.

Moms, I don’t have to tell you how exhausting parenting can be! There are theories and tips and recommendations for how to get your child to sleep, what activities she should attend at each age, and what his formerly unstructured free time should really look like. After all, nobody wants their kid to fall behind the norm, right? So we push and chauffeur and sign up and…drive ourselves (and probably the kids!) crazy.

I don’t know many moms these days with kids over the age of two or three who aren’t some form of overscheduled. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to get all of this stuff done - but how much of it is really necessary?

Rosa Brooks reminds us:

That mad swirl of activities? You get burned-out kids incapable of entertaining themselves. That homework you and your first-grader struggle through? It has zero educational benefit. That superhuman effort you make to protect your kids from every conceivable danger? It’s not necessarily helpful if it means they never learn how to evaluate dangers for themselves. Someday, our kids will have to function without us.

She blames the large-scale upswing of working moms for the increase in anxious, activity-filled parenting.

Only when large numbers of mothers did the unthinkable - found paid work - did Americans suddenly “discover” that truly effective “parenting” requires at least one adult to be focused 24/7 on the children and their “needs.” Surprise.

Brooks says that the recent downward trend in moms of kids under the age of six who work is because companies are not as family-friendly as they are profit-driven. How are moms supposed to cope with careers and kids when there’s that corporate/social demand to always give 110% to both?

I do think there is tremendous pressure on parents to do the popular culture-condoned right thing for their kids, but at the same time, surely we can learn from the parenting theories that exist without sacrificing our kids’ free time or our sanity. After all, they learn things from whatever they’re doing - even if that something is finger painting alone or chasing after older siblings playing soccer in the back yard.

Posted by Sunshine.

Before I had kids, I had a decent figure - not model-esque by any stretch of the imagination, but I looked OK. Now the mirror tells more of a comedy/horror story than a romantic tale, and I’ll admit that I’ve toyed with the notion of plastic surgery (after we win the lottery) to get my old body back.

I know I’m not alone, because there’s a plastic surgery package (typically called the “mommy makeover”) just for women like me.

Aimed at mothers, it usually involves a trifecta: a breast lift with or without breast implants, a tummy tuck and some liposuction. The procedures are intended to hoist slackened skin as well as reduce stretch marks and pregnancy fat.

You mean my boobs will go back to where they should be and gain perkiness, my tummy sag will tighten, and this spare tire will shrink? Sounds like a deal! Last year, over 325,000 of these surgeries were performed on mothers across the nation - and not just on mothers of young children. Empty nesters are reclaiming their pre-pregnancy bodies, too.

Critics of the triple procedure point fingers at the cosmetic surgery industry as trying to ostracize the mother’s figure.

Many women struggle with the impact of aging and pregnancy on their bodies. But the marketing of the “mommy makeover” seeks to pathologize the postpartum body, characterizing pregnancy and childbirth as maladies with disfiguring aftereffects that can be repaired with the help of scalpels and cannulae.

“The message is that, after having children, women’s bodies change for the worse,” said Diana Zuckerman, the president of the National Research Center for Women and Families, a nonprofit group in Washington. If marketing could turn the postpregnancy body “into a socially unacceptable thing, think of how big your audience would be and how many surgeries you could sell them,” she said.

So…is the post-partum body something to be “fixed,” or should mothers be offended by the notion that they might consider changing their figures in order to feel more beautiful?

I say that if you are satisfied with your body, more power to you. If not, and you have the wherewithal to change that, go for it. Me, I’m going to wear my stretch marks with pride…and buy a lottery ticket now and then.

Posted by Sunshine.