Today’s guest bloggers, Lisa Friedman and Alexis Stein are the experts behind SomeoneSpoilMe.com:

For years people have asked us, “What should I give Dad for father’s day?” Or, more simply, “What should I give Amy since she just had a baby?” We always knew the perfect gift and the best place to get it from. From the coolest gadgets to the softest blankets, nothing was off limits. For so many, gifting seems to be such a challenge, so we decided to take our skills and stylish taste to a broader level (hello dot com) to help people beyond our close friends, give fabulous gifts. With that being said, SomeoneSpoilMe.com has evolved into the best online source for giving and getting fabulous gifts!

When deciding on what makes a “fabulous” gift you need to put yourself in the recipients’ shoes (if you dare). Take Dad for example, what kind of guy is he? Does he like to play sports or does he prefer to watch them on his couch with a beer and some greasy food? Is he up to date on the latest cameras and technical devices or does he not know how to get online? Does he care about protecting the earth or is he more concerned with protecting his hair from thinning? And lastly, does he prefer to listen to classical music and read war epics or does he prefer to stay home and play guitar hero? As you can see there are many types of dads out there with many different personalities. Before you decide on your gift, you must figure out what “kind of dad” you have. Once you have made that decision, SomeoneSpoilMe.com makes the rest VERY easy. All you need to do is browse our fabulous father’s day gift guide (broken down by personality) and press, “click to buy” when you find the perfect gift for Dad. See how easy it is!

TTC? Get off the phone! Studies at the Cleveland Clinic’s infertility area have shown that men who spend a lot of time talking on cell phones are killing their swimmers. The more time on the phone, the lower the sperm count. Men who speak in the phone for more than four hours per day had the lowest counts of all. In case you are wondering, there is no correlation to the theory that cell phone usage kills brain cells. Although, us gals know that a lot of mens brain cells do tend to be *ahem* down near their swimmers, so maybe there in fact is… if you know what I mean!

disclaimer for those who don’t know me… even thought I posted some pics of my kiddos earlier this week, I chose this random pic of a hawt guy over my hubby today. Sorry, dear.

Kids will risk it all? Children these days are more frequently using steroids to increase their athletic performance. And of children surveyed, 60% said that seeing pro athletes encouraged them to start using. Eighty-five precent of users of users thought they would help them “reach their athletic dreams”. And, most disturbingly, they are willing to risk their current and future health to optimise their physical performance now. As the mom of an eleven year old athletic boy, I find all of this very disturbing and you can bet I am going to keep a close eye on my children. No steroids in this family!

I resiliency gene? Scientists, in trying to find out why some children recover well from childhood abuse while others have depression and other issues later in life, are linking this to a resiliency gene. Is the cause for depression nature or nurture - or a combination of both? Doctors now are able to pinpoint these things even better and have come up with this:

The new study focuses on the brain’s CRH1 receptor, which responds to corticotropin-releasing hormone, a chemical that controls the fight-or-flight response. “There are all kinds of reasons to think the CRH receptor could be important for the biology of depression,” says Insel. The amygdala, the brain region associated with fear and other intense emotions, is loaded with CRH receptors. Levels of the hormone seem to get set, like a thermostat, in infancy and childhood. “Early activation of the receptors could change the way they work and how sensitive they are,” says Insel. “They have these imprinting effects where you often see very long-term consequences.”

Of course, if children weren’t abused in the first place they would not need to use this… sometimes I really do not understand the evil in mankind.

It’s a girl! Actress Mary-Louise Parker (Weeds) has adopted a baby girl from Africa. This is Ms. Parker’s second child; she has a son, Will, 3, with ex-boyfriend Billy Crudup.

Shaken Baby Syndrome: A bibliographic review of studies on shaken baby syndrome by researchers out of the Teaching Maternity Unit of the University College of Health Care at the University of Granada offers the following data on this type of abuse: The aggressors in SBS are generally men:  in 44% of the cases, the perpetrator is the father, in 20% it is the mother’s boyfriend who is living in the family home. The most frequent female perpetrators are babysitters, at 18%, and mothers, at 7%. 20% of victims of SBS die within days of the shaking incident; 50% suffer widespread disabilities; and only 30% fully recover.

Salad Recall:  Dole Food Co. has issued a recall of some of its bagged salads because a sample at a Canadian grocery store tested positive for E. coli.  The recall involes “Dole Hearts Delight” salads with a “best if used by” date of September 19.  The company has not received any reports of consumers becoming ill from these salads.

Toy Recall: The CPSC announced a recall of duck watering cans sold at Jo-Ann Stores. The paint on the duck’s beak contains lead, which is toxic if ingested by young children. Consumers may return the watering cans at any Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Store for a full refund.

Gestational Diabetes and Childhood Obesity: According to research published in the current issue of the journal Diabetes Care, proper treatment of gestational diabetes can be a preventative measure against childhood obesity. Looking at mother and child medical records of over 9,000 mother-child pairs, the researchers found that treating gestational diabetes while the mother is pregnant lowers the later obesity risk for the child to that of women with normal blood sugar levels. One of the researchers offers, “My advice to pregnant women is three-fold: Discuss gestational diabetes screening with your doctor, usually between weeks 24 and 28 of pregnancy; if you have gestational diabetes, work with your physician to treat it, and stick with the treatment during your pregnancy. It’s the best thing you can do to reduce your child’s risk of obesity.”

For what it’s worth… In a study of more than 17,000 people in 28 countries, George Mason University researchers have found that live-in boyfriends do more housework than married men. The co-leader of the study sees this as an indication that marriage tends to have a “traditionalizing effect” on couples.

If your child gets lost in a department store, who do you want him or her to find in the way of help? Picture your child’s ideal rescuer for a moment.

Is that person male? No? You’re not alone, says an article published online by the Wall Street Journal.

Guidelines issued by police departments and child-safety groups often encourage them to look for “a pregnant woman,” “a mother pushing a stroller” or “a grandmother.”

Even airline and sports guidelines are slanted against men, safety-wise. Forget about hugging a student athlete if you’re a male coach - don’t even touch your players. (So say soccer leagues.)

Given that the majority of sexual predators are male, perhaps it makes sense that we teach our children to mistrust men…but women can be dangerous, too, and I think we often forget that.

As the mother of a young girl, I am well qualified to speak on the dangers to young children as parents see them - as I see them. And I am disgusted by how extreme the bias against men as caregivers and youth leaders, etc.

It irks me when I send my husband with my daughter down a different aisle at the grocery store while I soothe our son in the second cart and he comes back red-faced because someone asked if our daughter was his, or gave him a funny look. I’ve seen those looks from people who didn’t realize I was also with him. Why the hell can’t he take his own daughter out and about without garnering suspicion??

He even gets the occasional raised eyebrow when he takes our son for a diaper change (not that that’s always possible, since men’s restrooms don’t have changing stations as often as women’s do - but that’s a separate rant altogether). And I guarantee that if he was the stay-at-home parent, he would have even more reason to believe that society views men in a largely negative light when it comes to children.

The article also points out that as a result of this view, more men are shying away from child-oriented professions such as elementary school teachers. Can you blame them? If you knew you were going to garner suspicion and negative feedback simply by virtue of your gender if you entered a certain career field, wouldn’t you think twice before doing so?

If my daughter ever gets lost somewhere, my only hope is that someone kind finds her quickly. I do not care one bit about their gender (or age, skin color, shoe size or fashion sense). She is more likely at this age, being a daddy’s girl, to seek a man for help. While I am aware that there are some truly sick people in this world, I do not believe that every stranger is a threat (though I will likely have to teach her over-cautiousness there anyway) and I certainly do not believe that just because a person is male, he is a greater safety risk to my children than someone of the same build and intent (whatever that may be) in a female body.

Most men understand the need to be cautious, so they’re willing to take a step back from children[…]. One abused child is one too many. Still, it’s important to maintain perspective. “The number of men who will hurt a child is tiny compared to the population,” says Benjamin Radford, who researches statistics on predators and is managing editor of the science magazine Skeptical Inquirer. “Virtually all of the time, if a child is lost or in trouble, he will be safe going to the nearest male stranger.”

Posted by Sunshining.

(See also: Men and the Fear of Working with Children.)

Model Mom: Model Keren Elson and hubby musician Jack White welcomed baby number two. Henry Lee joins his15-month-old big sister Scarlett Teresa. Mom and baby are reportedly doing well.

Bacterial Vaginosis and Race: A new study out of the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine finds that black women and women whose sexual partner is black are at a higher risk for bacterial vaginosis (BV). BV is a common vaginal infection, often characterized by a foul-smelling discharge, that puts pregnant women at an increased risk for preterm birth. One of the study’s author’s notes, “There could be genetic differences that relate to why infection rates are different, and maybe some differences in nutritional status that could play a part. But we don’t even know the differences in normal vaginal flora among racial groups…More study is definitely needed. What we can say now is that it’s just not as simple as treating the woman.”

Year-Round Schools, No Gains? A sociologist out of Ohio State University reports that children in year-round schools do not appear to learn more than those who attend on a traditional nine-month schedule. Over a full year, he found, reading and math scores improved the same amount for children in both groups. In the US, year-round schools tend to have the same number of school days as traditional ones, with vacation time spread out throughout the year. The researcher concluded, “On purely academic grounds, I wouldn’t advocate a year-round calendar, but I can’t recommend against it, either.”

Men and Infertility: Researchers at the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology report that while the study of the psychological impact of infertility generally focuses on women, men suffer just as much, particularly over time. Infertile couples often find, whether the difficulties lie with the woman or the man, that social support networks tend to deteriorate. “Men who are particularly affected by fertility problems should be considered for counselling, since this may improve their mental well-being as well as their perception of their social environment. Given the level of suffering we found among men, it is important to continue to research into their needs.”

Scary Movie: Mandy Moore stars in the romantic comedy License to Wed, in which Moore must undergo prenuptial counseling with a crazed pastor (Robin Williams). Part of the marriage training includes caring for robot babies. Shares Moore, “Those robot babies were about 15 pounds each, and I had twins in the movie. They were really heavy and they smelled really bad. Those babies felt like sweaty rubber. It definitely went against that old saying that all babies are cute. Having something that looked like James Cagney as a baby is not my ideal.”

Lupus and Male Fertility:� Researchers out of Brazil report that men with the autoimmune disease lupus who are treated with Cytoxan are more likely to have fertility problems caused by damaged sperm, low sperm count, and low sperm volume. Because the disease tends to strike during the reporductive years, the researchers suggest that sperm collection and freezing might be discussed with men diagnosed with lupus.

MS and Pregnancy: A new study published in the journal Neurology finds that men and women are equally likely to pass multiple sclerosis to their children, with a rate of just under 10% transmission for either sex. This contradicts earlier research that suggesed that men were more likely to pass the disease. “Our study involved 16 times as many people as the previous published study,” says researcher George Ebers, M.D., professor of clinical neurology at the University of Oxford, in a news release.

Let’s talk about sex for a moment. I can list several “facts” about men and sex, but are any of them actually accurate about my husband or yours? Jay Dixit of Psychology Today examines some of the more common notions:

1. How often do men really think about sex?

Here’s a hint: It’s not every seven seconds. In fact, in a self-reported survey, less than half of men said they thought about sex even once a day! (I do call shenanigans on the 4% who said they didn’t think about sex even once per month, though. Uh-huh.)

2. Men want sex more than we do - a lot more (right?).

Well, yes, but it’s not really fair to hold that against them. New research shows that the instant a woman enters a secure relationship, her sex drive begins to plummet. Four years in, a German study found, fewer than half of women wanted regular sex. And after 20 years, only 20 percent did. In contrast, a man’s libido is apparently unaffected by whether (and for how long) he’s in a stable relationship. I’d be curious to see whether that libido suffers with the addition of children to the mix!

The third myth has to do with average size, and the fourth is HIV-related - I’ll let my curious readers explore those on their own, as they’re perhaps not quite as on-topic as the others.

The fifth and final “truth about men” deals with the length of the average encounter. Most couples do the deed in three to ten minutes - a far cry from the average of 40 minutes portrayed by the entertainment industry. Perhaps “minute man” isn’t as much of an insult as I thought, at least not when stacked up against reality. (I wouldn’t advise using it in conversation with any male you care about, though.)

Posted by Sunshining.

NCH, a UK children’s charity, is desperate for volunteers to become mentors for boys aged five to 11 who are in need of positive male role models. Sadly, the organization kicked off National Volunteer Week with poll results that found that 13% of the men they questioned who do not currently volunteer to work with children avoid this type of service because of fears of being suspected of pedophilia.

In fact, all of NCH’s volunteers, and all who work with children in the UK, undergo background checks. NCH’s volunteers are, according to their site, thoroughly trained and monitored. While background checks and training are not a perfect device for catching folks with nefarious intentions toward children who would be in their care, they certainly act as a safeguard and should help both the volunteer and all who are concerned about children feel more secure.

But over at Spiked, Josie Appleton levels some blame at the very child protection advocates who have put the safeguarding procedures in place for the anti-volunteerism trend:

Only the joyless bureaucrats, who have their child protection handbooks in their back pocket and know the ‘correct manner of comforting a child’, are deemed okay to allow near tender young people. They are beyond suspicion because they have effectively placed themselves under perpetual monitoring. Working with children becomes less a source of enjoyment, because an adult is driven to develop young talent or has passion for a sport or art, and instead becomes a procedure that must be carried out correctly.

Is Ms. Appleton correct? In the wake of our recent (correct) position that child sexual abuse should be thoroughly exposed and prosecuted, and, of course, that it needs to be prevented, have we swung the pendulum too far and taken a much too proscriptive approach to how adults and children should interact? Do we put men in particular on the defensive, treating them as potential liabilities, and suck all the joy out of working with young people?

I think Ms. Appleton may have a point. If 13% of the male respondents really believe they’ll be seen in a suspicious light simply for volunteering to work with young people, the problem isn’t that there aren’t enough checks in the system, but that something deeper is out of whack. I’ve read quite a bit of criticism lately about how we’re reshaping childhood - for the worse - by standardizing playgrounds and banning tag and tree climbing, and as parents by lawyering for our kids when they bring home D’s or reports of misbehavior. In our zeal to protect kids, we’re actually limiting their learning opportunities.

Are we also sending out signals that when it comes to working with kids, men need not apply? If so, thank God not all men get the message.

Posted by MommaSteph.