I love my children. I really, really do. And most of the time, I think they’re not only adorable, but angelic. I know I’m lucky!

But some of those other times…you know the times I mean, the ones when you wonder “Who are you, spawn of Satan, and what have you done with my sweet kid?”…argh!

I thought it might be fun to air our pet peeves about our kids (with ages noted). I wonder if we have a lot of the same gripes for the same age groups.

My son, who just had his first birthday at the end of May, drives me nuts when he refuses to eat something that was his absolute favorite food yesterday, and instead flings it all over the floor while I’m busy trying to convince his sister to eat that same something.

My daughter, who will turn three on Saturday, irks me when she asks for something, then promptly informs me that it’s yucky and she doesn’t want that.

Can you tell mealtimes are a ton of fun around here right now?

Your turn!

Posted by Sunshine.

Cavity fighting candy? Believe it or not, it is being tested in Brazil. Researchers developed a compound that is similar to natural saliva which neutralizes the acids that erode teeth, and have put it in a candy called BasicMints (not very catchy - they need to get their marketing guys on that). The candy was given to 200 children, and after one year these kids had 61% fewer cavities. The only problem I can see is that it is only mint flavored. Personally, I would like to see it in gummy bears - I can’t ever get enough of those!

Other factors should be considered… when considering saving the life of a preemie. It is not only the gestational age that matters. Being a girl, having steroids to mature the lungs, being a single birth or having a few extra ounces of weigh all matter a lot. At this point, every week in the womb counts and any of these factors can increase the gestational age by a week. A child born at 22 weeks has a 5% chance of survival; at 23 weeks it climbs to 25%, 24 weeks 50% and 25 weeks 75%.

When a child is born between 22-25 weeks gestation, it is often a heart-wrenching decision. Statistically speaking, of the 4,200 extremely premature births, 50% died in the first two years, and an additional 25% had significant to extreme physical handicaps.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time… I don’t know whether to laugh or feel bad for a group of middle-aged moms in Spain. In an effort to make some money for their children’s school, they decided to pose nude for a calendar. Someone along the line gave them some bad advice, and the calendar did not sell well. They are $16,000 in debt - and stuck with a LOT of copies of the calendar. And I want to take a second to tell my elementary school kids not to worry - mommy is never going to embarrass you by posing nude to raised money for your school - I promise!

My daughter is obsessed with Dora the Explorer. I mean, freaking obsessed. She’s not so keen on other things, like brushing her teeth, eating supper, etc.

A week or two ago, I had a sudden flash of insight. It might make me a bad mom, but what if I could take her obsession and twist it to my advantage? There was a bad storm that night, right as her bedtime rolled around. My sweet girl told me she was scared of the noise, so I lied through my teeth and told her it was Dora and Boots (Dora’s monkey companion, in case any of you have miraculously escaped watching this show) playing a ball game inside their house. The noise was the ball hitting the wall.

Oh, and if she saw any flashes of light, that was just Dora’s mommy taking pictures of their game.

I felt kind of like a heel for lying to my daughter, but she got into bed and went to sleep with no tears.

Since then, I’ve tried the Dora tactic with other things. Of course any respectable kid-idolized character would, say, let her mom brush her teeth and hair after a bath, right? And I’m sure Dora eats her fruit and veggies and actually lets her mom wash her character-themed sheets (if Dora had Dora sheets, that would be weird though) without screaming and crying for a solid half hour over it…you get the idea.

It’s not that I press her to do things because “Dora does it” — she’ll get peer pressure soon enough without that!, but rather, when she does something the first time I ask her to, I tell her she’s a good helper just like Dora. It might not work out so great long-term, but right now that Dora obsession is responsible for a lot fewer battles in my day.

Gracias, Dora!

Posted by Sunshine.

So, like roughly one third of the world’s population, I’m reading Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth. Not because it’s the Oprah Book Club book, as it happens, but because the women in my real life book club chose it. Briefly, this work is about transcending all that makes up our “false identity” - the script we run in our heads, our obsession with objects, our need for recognition - and letting our real presence just be.

I went into the book with a lot of resistance. Any time I’m told “This will change your life! And if it doesn’t, it’s because you’re not ready!” I’ve got my back up.

But, as sometimes happens, this is turning out to be the right book for me right now.

And of course, I find myself hoping that the lessons in the book that appear to be taking root will help make me a better mother. It is, after all, one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have.

An opportunity? The other day, I had the boys in the car, and Henry, 3, popped out with, “Are we going to CVS?” I answered, “Yes.” “Oh,” he said, sounding pleased, “so I’m right?”

I hesitated for a second, and then asked, “Is it important to you that you’re right?”

Henry’s turn to hesitate. Then he said something that I couldn’t quite catch, but by the tone, I think I caught his meaning, which was along the lines of, “OK, now she’s being a dick.”

So naturally, I told him that he’s not ready to change, his false self is creating resistance, he needs to be more aware of his pain-body…

Actually, I had a good laugh, the boys joined in, and we went up and down every aisle at CVS looking at beauty products, cheesy toys, and candy.

One book perhaps doesn’t a Zen mother make, but I hope when they’re grown, the boys give me credit for good intentions. And I hope my “false self” is at least fun to hang out with. In the meantime, I’ll keep striving for enlightenment!

Posted by MommaSteph.

I went to a huge family function Sunday (for a branch I haven’t kept up with very well), and was delighted to spot a distant relative who has always been a good friend of mine. But after the hellos and how are yous, I found myself grasping at straws to keep the conversation going. He doesn’t have kids, and I realized with dismay that talking about parenting stuff wouldn’t be nearly as interesting to him as it is to me.

No diaper disaster tales to exchange…no humorous kiddie anecdotes to trade…no parental angst to share…what else is there? Have I really fallen so out-of-touch with the non-parenting world? What on earth did I talk about before?

Then my brain shrugged off its lethargy, and I found myself asking him about his work, about his upcoming marriage, about his plans for the future. And he, in turn, asked intelligent questions about my life (and not just the kid part - about my own dreams and plans). We had plenty of catching up to do, and the hours flew by. What do you know - I am more than a mom, even when I don’t feel like I am!

In a few years, maybe we’ll be able to share parenting anecdotes, too.

Have you ever found it difficult to talk to old friends who don’t have kids, or does the switch from kid-centered to adult-centered conversation come easily to you?

Posted by Sunshine.

Suffering from menstrual pain? Try acupuncture. A study shows that of women undergoing acupuncture treatments, 65 showed a 33% improvement in their pain levels. A few Midol tablets may cure most women’s cramps, but there are some who suffer from severe pain. I myself suffered miserably during my teen years, and going in the mini-pill seemed to finally provide some relief. If I had known about this back then I would definitely have given it a try.

Call your senator!… and tell him to vote for the new legislation that will nearly double the budget for the Consumer Product Safety Commission, with the intention of increasing programs on child toy safety.

It also would ban lead from children’s products and establish a publicly available database of information collected from consumers, hospitals and other sources about injuries, illnesses and deaths from consumer products.

Concerned parents unite and demand the safety of your children’s toys!

A little off topic… but since some of the gals on the board love hunting eggs and steering their wagons down the Oregon trail, I found it interesting today to read that Mark Zuckerberg, the person who created Facebook 4 years ago, is Forbes youngest billionaire. He is currently worth $1.5 billion. Impressive!

Stoopid moms! Two moms, grown women, got into a brawl at a Chuck E Cheeses restaurant. Why? One mom was upset that the other woman’s child was “hogging a game”. Numerous 911 calls to the police were made, and both women are being charged with simple assault and battery. The children were 9 years old, old enough to be totally mortified at their mom’s behavior. Way to go, moms! ..not!

Mommy fatigue causes memory loss. Mommy is sometimes a scatterbrain. At least I am. I am especially horrible with people’s last name - especially at work where I am constantly scanning the phone list to prompt my memory. But, amazingly enough I can usually remember where every single miscellaneous item is in my house for whenever my kids (and husband) whine “moooommm… where is the (fill in the blank)?”

Sleep deprivation, hormone changes and stress can reduce memory. Did you know that a mom loses between 450-700 hours of sleep in baby’s first year alone? I was a walking zombie as well. And I feel for my friends who have older “non-sleepers” that can go on even for a few years. On the positive side, a mother tends to have increased awareness for the health and safety of their child. Some serious nurturing kicks in. So don’t fret if you put that gallon of ice cream in the fridge instead of the freezer… you will still be a great parent to your precious children!

Dying to know if hubby will go bald? Well, a new DNA test is available and for $150, a guy can swab his cheek and send it away for analysis. In return, it will give you decent odds to consider. The big question is, what to do if it does happen? Personally, I prefer a nice sexy shave like Chris Daughtry. What I don’t get is all the guys who are seriously losing it and grow what is left into a looong ponytail hanging down their back. I guess that is our generations answer to the comb-over.

My husband, despite being repeatedly shown how my daughter’s dresser is organized, can never find an outfit for her without shouting to me for help at least once. He just doesn’t get my system for clothes. He also doesn’t get why I don’t like it when he puts the sippy cups on the top shelf instead of the bottom one (it’s because I can’t reach the top shelf with a kid in my arms!) or why it matters whether he thoroughly dries the dishes before he puts them away (his mother doesn’t either - ewww, water spots!).

My better half doesn’t mind if the kids silently invoke the five-second (or ten-minute) rule. “What good is an immune system if you never get to use it?” he says as I cringe in my chair. He doesn’t neatly roll up dirty diapers and stick the tabs around them like I do, and he doesn’t mix rice cereal into the baby’s food the way I do it.

Despite our differences on domestic and kiddie details, I’ve come to understand that there are some things he does that are firmly in the realm of what I can only call daddy magic.

When my 2 1/2-year-old won’t eat, Daddy invents a story about the magical properties of ham, and suddenly she’s tearing into her sandwich with gusto. If I told her the same story, she would shake her head and say, “No, mommy, it’s not like ‘dat!”

He gets her to do the bath/teeth/bed thing with nothing but smiles when she was crying in my lap moments before. He gets the Tylenol into my teething son’s irritable mouth after that pint-sized prince spit half a dose all over me earlier in the day. And he gets the best hugs.

When we go shopping for new clothes for the kids (which doesn’t happen nearly as often as I’d have it), I stare at tags and wonder if I can trust that a 3T or 12m in one brand will fit the same way their clothes in another brand do at home. I go back and forth, wondering whether I need to get bigger sizes.

Invariably, my husband comes up with the kids and peers over my shoulder, saying, “Nope, that’s not going to fit her. Get one up” or “Those pants will be just right on him.” Sometimes he makes a show of putting a shirt up to my daughter’s back, acting like he’s thinking hard about it, but he rarely actually needs to do that. I have no idea how he does it, but he’s never been wrong.

The clothing thing is neat (and useful!), but flying fairy ham in my daughter’s tummy - well that’s pure magic. Daddy magic.

Posted by Sunshine.

I have never been a girly-girl. I used to be a tomboy, and even now I’m drawn to plain shirts and comfortable jeans more than cute skirts and more feminine blouses.

With my daughter, however, it’s a totally different world. I dress her in pink - a lot of pink! - and at least half of her spring/summer wardrobe consists of dresses. She has as many skirts as she does shorts, and lace, ribbons, and frilly bows show up as often as I can make that happen.

My family doesn’t understand this at all. To tell the truth, sometimes I don’t understand it either. Why am I not drawn to dress her as I dress myself? It’s not some deep-seated need to live a girly life vicariously through her; my grandmother and mom would have been only too happy to dress me that way if it had ever been what I wanted! And it’s not that I think that dressing her the way I do is the only way to present her beautifully; she is beautiful no matter what she wears or whether there’s dirt on her face and yogurt in her hair.

I suppose it’s partly for practical reasons that my little girl wears so many dresses. In the summertime, it’s the coolest option other than letting her go naked, which might not go over so well at the mall or the grocery store.

I do dress her in pants or shorts and a shirt for playground trips and other places where she might do a lot of playing instead of just walking or riding, and I’ll respect her wishes if the time comes when she doesn’t want to dress like a pint-sized princess. For now, though, I’ll let her wear lacy dresses and big bows, and love every minute of it.

Let’s face it: There’s just something sweet about a happy little girl twirling around in a pretty dress.

Moms of girls, do you dress your young daughter(s) the same way you were dressed as a child? Do you dress her more/less girly based on her personality, or on other factors?

Posted by Sunshine.