My husband, despite being repeatedly shown how my daughter’s dresser is organized, can never find an outfit for her without shouting to me for help at least once. He just doesn’t get my system for clothes. He also doesn’t get why I don’t like it when he puts the sippy cups on the top shelf instead of the bottom one (it’s because I can’t reach the top shelf with a kid in my arms!) or why it matters whether he thoroughly dries the dishes before he puts them away (his mother doesn’t either - ewww, water spots!).

My better half doesn’t mind if the kids silently invoke the five-second (or ten-minute) rule. “What good is an immune system if you never get to use it?” he says as I cringe in my chair. He doesn’t neatly roll up dirty diapers and stick the tabs around them like I do, and he doesn’t mix rice cereal into the baby’s food the way I do it.

Despite our differences on domestic and kiddie details, I’ve come to understand that there are some things he does that are firmly in the realm of what I can only call daddy magic.

When my 2 1/2-year-old won’t eat, Daddy invents a story about the magical properties of ham, and suddenly she’s tearing into her sandwich with gusto. If I told her the same story, she would shake her head and say, “No, mommy, it’s not like ‘dat!”

He gets her to do the bath/teeth/bed thing with nothing but smiles when she was crying in my lap moments before. He gets the Tylenol into my teething son’s irritable mouth after that pint-sized prince spit half a dose all over me earlier in the day. And he gets the best hugs.

When we go shopping for new clothes for the kids (which doesn’t happen nearly as often as I’d have it), I stare at tags and wonder if I can trust that a 3T or 12m in one brand will fit the same way their clothes in another brand do at home. I go back and forth, wondering whether I need to get bigger sizes.

Invariably, my husband comes up with the kids and peers over my shoulder, saying, “Nope, that’s not going to fit her. Get one up” or “Those pants will be just right on him.” Sometimes he makes a show of putting a shirt up to my daughter’s back, acting like he’s thinking hard about it, but he rarely actually needs to do that. I have no idea how he does it, but he’s never been wrong.

The clothing thing is neat (and useful!), but flying fairy ham in my daughter’s tummy - well that’s pure magic. Daddy magic.

Posted by Sunshine.

TTC? Get off the phone! Studies at the Cleveland Clinic’s infertility area have shown that men who spend a lot of time talking on cell phones are killing their swimmers. The more time on the phone, the lower the sperm count. Men who speak in the phone for more than four hours per day had the lowest counts of all. In case you are wondering, there is no correlation to the theory that cell phone usage kills brain cells. Although, us gals know that a lot of mens brain cells do tend to be *ahem* down near their swimmers, so maybe there in fact is… if you know what I mean!

disclaimer for those who don’t know me… even thought I posted some pics of my kiddos earlier this week, I chose this random pic of a hawt guy over my hubby today. Sorry, dear.

Kids will risk it all? Children these days are more frequently using steroids to increase their athletic performance. And of children surveyed, 60% said that seeing pro athletes encouraged them to start using. Eighty-five precent of users of users thought they would help them “reach their athletic dreams”. And, most disturbingly, they are willing to risk their current and future health to optimise their physical performance now. As the mom of an eleven year old athletic boy, I find all of this very disturbing and you can bet I am going to keep a close eye on my children. No steroids in this family!

I resiliency gene? Scientists, in trying to find out why some children recover well from childhood abuse while others have depression and other issues later in life, are linking this to a resiliency gene. Is the cause for depression nature or nurture - or a combination of both? Doctors now are able to pinpoint these things even better and have come up with this:

The new study focuses on the brain’s CRH1 receptor, which responds to corticotropin-releasing hormone, a chemical that controls the fight-or-flight response. “There are all kinds of reasons to think the CRH receptor could be important for the biology of depression,” says Insel. The amygdala, the brain region associated with fear and other intense emotions, is loaded with CRH receptors. Levels of the hormone seem to get set, like a thermostat, in infancy and childhood. “Early activation of the receptors could change the way they work and how sensitive they are,” says Insel. “They have these imprinting effects where you often see very long-term consequences.”

Of course, if children weren’t abused in the first place they would not need to use this… sometimes I really do not understand the evil in mankind.

It is possible to be too clean. With the scare of the “superbugs” many parents are being more cautious regarding their children’s cleanliness. This article gives some interesting hints such as:

- It is not only about being clean. Good nutrition, plenty of sleep and staying warm and dry on winter days also helps keep the sickies away. So bundle up and bring on the chicken soup!

- Don’t fall victim to all the antibacterial products on the market. They are more pricey, and there is no evidence to prove that they actually are effective in preventing bacteria.

The article also gives a list of 10 times a day it is good to wash childrens hands. I have to admit - I struggle to get my own kids to wash their hands one or twice a day!

Do people really research this stuff? Researchers have been studying insects to try to prove that attractive males have attractive babies. They hope to make a correlation with human men and their offspring. Seriously? I would like to be a researcher who gets to decide who is attractive or not. Where can I sign up?

One crazy nun. A sister in Detroit got fed up with her students’ potty mouths and she decided to do something about it. She had all of her 5th to 8th graders stay after mass and she explained her no-tolerance swearing policy. And as a shock to the kids, she rattled off a list of all words that are banned. This was not only cuss words - she also banned words like stupid and boring. Apparently it worked. So far.

In a motion today, a judge in California granted Kevin Federline full custody of their two sons “until further notice of the court”.

What took them so long?

Some of the issues she has had (with lots of photographic evidence from the paparazzi) includes: lots of late night partying, even though a few weeks ago judges ruled that both parents had some tough restrictions to curb their partying lifestyle and were to attend parenting classes; the alleged misuse of alcohol and drugs; and most recently Britney’s citation for driving without a license.

An AOL poll shows that 90% of the 90,000 respondents feel that Kevin should have been granted custody.

One thing that also somewhat peeved me was the allegation that Britney has been using the paparazzi to keep her pictures in the tabloids. Yes, you read that right. Crazy huh?

I try not to judge other people’s lives, but I have to say that in this case I think the judge was spot on, and that Britney needs to make some major changes to her life to prove that she is a responsible parent capable of raising young children. It’s not as though she hasn’t been given many opportunities recently to demonstrate that… what went wrong?

So, what do you think? Did the judge make the right decision? Join us on the MomSquawk boards and let us know your opinion.

Posted by Meganlux

It’s a girl! Actress Mary-Louise Parker (Weeds) has adopted a baby girl from Africa. This is Ms. Parker’s second child; she has a son, Will, 3, with ex-boyfriend Billy Crudup.

Shaken Baby Syndrome: A bibliographic review of studies on shaken baby syndrome by researchers out of the Teaching Maternity Unit of the University College of Health Care at the University of Granada offers the following data on this type of abuse: The aggressors in SBS are generally men:  in 44% of the cases, the perpetrator is the father, in 20% it is the mother’s boyfriend who is living in the family home. The most frequent female perpetrators are babysitters, at 18%, and mothers, at 7%. 20% of victims of SBS die within days of the shaking incident; 50% suffer widespread disabilities; and only 30% fully recover.

Salad Recall:  Dole Food Co. has issued a recall of some of its bagged salads because a sample at a Canadian grocery store tested positive for E. coli.  The recall involes “Dole Hearts Delight” salads with a “best if used by” date of September 19.  The company has not received any reports of consumers becoming ill from these salads.

We received this friendly heads up from the good people at March of Dimes about a new free booklet they have available for folks planning to have a baby:

Getting ready for pregnancy isn’t only about your physical health. The March of Dimes wants you to be prepared emotionally and financially, too, when you welcome your wonderful baby into the world! What you and your partner do to get ready before you’re pregnant will help your baby get the best possible start. March of Dimes is offering its “Are You Ready?” booklet free of charge, thanks to a generous grant from First Response. It is packed with healthy tips and answers the many questions surrounding your emotional, physical and financial well-being before becoming pregnant.

You can order your free booklet here. And you get a discount coupon for a First Response pregnancy test to boot!

It can’t hurt to get some input from these folks. Or you could just be like my husband and me. Our preparations went something like this:

Husband: Are you sure we’re ready to have kids?

Me: What do you mean? Everyone does it. How hard can it be?

Sending lots of baby dust to you TTC ladies.

Posted by MommaSteph.

If your child gets lost in a department store, who do you want him or her to find in the way of help? Picture your child’s ideal rescuer for a moment.

Is that person male? No? You’re not alone, says an article published online by the Wall Street Journal.

Guidelines issued by police departments and child-safety groups often encourage them to look for “a pregnant woman,” “a mother pushing a stroller” or “a grandmother.”

Even airline and sports guidelines are slanted against men, safety-wise. Forget about hugging a student athlete if you’re a male coach - don’t even touch your players. (So say soccer leagues.)

Given that the majority of sexual predators are male, perhaps it makes sense that we teach our children to mistrust men…but women can be dangerous, too, and I think we often forget that.

As the mother of a young girl, I am well qualified to speak on the dangers to young children as parents see them - as I see them. And I am disgusted by how extreme the bias against men as caregivers and youth leaders, etc.

It irks me when I send my husband with my daughter down a different aisle at the grocery store while I soothe our son in the second cart and he comes back red-faced because someone asked if our daughter was his, or gave him a funny look. I’ve seen those looks from people who didn’t realize I was also with him. Why the hell can’t he take his own daughter out and about without garnering suspicion??

He even gets the occasional raised eyebrow when he takes our son for a diaper change (not that that’s always possible, since men’s restrooms don’t have changing stations as often as women’s do - but that’s a separate rant altogether). And I guarantee that if he was the stay-at-home parent, he would have even more reason to believe that society views men in a largely negative light when it comes to children.

The article also points out that as a result of this view, more men are shying away from child-oriented professions such as elementary school teachers. Can you blame them? If you knew you were going to garner suspicion and negative feedback simply by virtue of your gender if you entered a certain career field, wouldn’t you think twice before doing so?

If my daughter ever gets lost somewhere, my only hope is that someone kind finds her quickly. I do not care one bit about their gender (or age, skin color, shoe size or fashion sense). She is more likely at this age, being a daddy’s girl, to seek a man for help. While I am aware that there are some truly sick people in this world, I do not believe that every stranger is a threat (though I will likely have to teach her over-cautiousness there anyway) and I certainly do not believe that just because a person is male, he is a greater safety risk to my children than someone of the same build and intent (whatever that may be) in a female body.

Most men understand the need to be cautious, so they’re willing to take a step back from children[…]. One abused child is one too many. Still, it’s important to maintain perspective. “The number of men who will hurt a child is tiny compared to the population,” says Benjamin Radford, who researches statistics on predators and is managing editor of the science magazine Skeptical Inquirer. “Virtually all of the time, if a child is lost or in trouble, he will be safe going to the nearest male stranger.”

Posted by Sunshining.

(See also: Men and the Fear of Working with Children.)

Trends in Work/Life Balance: A new study out of the University of Cincinnati finds that working mothers are more likely than working dads to take the day off when a child is ill. However, the likelihood of dad calling in to take care of a sick child increases with the length of his employment and, not surprisingly, when he works flextime hours. Women become less likely to be sole providers of care for sick children as their salaries increase.

Kids’ Health Insurance and Politics: The expansion of the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP), which is funded through state and federal money, is set to be a political football. The Senate wants to expand funding for the program by $35 billion over five years; the Congress proposes $50 billion; and the President advocates $5 billion and has threatened to veto legislation that outstrips this amount. At issue is the plan to offer families of four who make over $100,000 per year the option of buying into the program if they can show that they are unable to get or to afford private health insurance. Opponents say the expansion of the program is a step towards socialized medicine and fattens already inefficient government programs; supporters say that in addition to giving health care to the nation’s poor, the plan offers coverage for children who have been failed by the private health insurance industry. Expect to hear more.

Legal Pushback on Baby Video Study: Walt Disney, parent company to Baby Einstein, has issued a demand for a retraction of the press release issued by the University of Washington on its study on the effect “baby videos and DVDs” have on language development. The letter raises doubts about the methodology used in the study. One objection: “The study combines very different content into a single category of ‘Baby Video’, even though the types of videos lumped into this category vary widely. In effect, the study assumes that neither the specific content nor the manner in which it is consumed can influence the nature of the experience. The study does nothing to prove this proposition which is contradicted by other published studies of infant viewing (not even mentioned in the report) which find that the specific nature of content and the way it is consumed are vitally important.”

Working Dad has a piece up on a recent Pew poll that shows that only 1/5 of working moms say that full-time employment is their ideal. Of those with young children, 16% find full-time work ideal, down from 31% a decade ago.

We had a couple of polls on the boards last spring on this topic, one for working moms, one for at-home moms, and the results jive with the Pew poll, with 16% of working moms voicing a preference for full time work, while over half would like to work part time, and 23% would prefer to stay at home full time.

Of the at-home moms, slightly more would prefer to work part time over being completely at-home.

Some other interesting findings from the Pew poll:

• 72% of dads say full-time work is their ideal.
• Only 26% of dads rated their parenting performance a 9 or 10 out of 10, 11 percentage points lower than all moms polled.
• Only 10% of working moms gave themselves the highest marks as parents, compared with 28% of at-home moms.

For polling info on societal attitudes towards working moms, check out the rest of the Working Dad piece.

Posted by MommaSteph.

When I heard that the Utah Jazz agreed to release guard Derek Fisher from his contract Monday so he can concentrate on finding the best care for his 11-month-old daughter, who has cancer in her left eye, I was happy. Happy because his priorities were very clear. Happy that he is going to be beside his little girl during a very difficult treatment process.

Tatum ( Derek Fisher’s daughter) has retinoblastoma, a cancerous tumor in her left eye. Only 350 cases of retinoblastoma are diagnosed each year in North America.

Common signs of retinoblastoma include:

• a white “glow” or “glint” in the pupil of one or both eyes in dim lighting
• white pupil in a color photo
• crossed or misaligned eyes

There are multiple treatments and support groups available. There is also a lot of research on this disease. With the correct treatment in the hands of an experienced ophthalmologist and appropriate follow-up, the retinoblastoma patient has a very good chance of living a long, full, and happy life.

This basketball player decided to play another game. He wants to throw hoops and win the championship of life with his daughter. I think there are many great men that fight every day for their families. Most of them are unknown to the public and yet their lives are so full of miracles. I think there are many fathers in the world but only some of them become great dads. I think Derek Fisher is one of them.

(Via Radical Catholic Mom.)

Posted by Momcrazyforkids.