An interesting new study suggests that both a child’s temperament and the relative strength of the mother-child bond can affect the quality of conflicts (level of aggravation, for example) between moms and their two-year-olds, but had nothing to do with how often conflict arose.

Interactions between 60 mothers and their children were observed during two sessions — a 50-minute lab visit when the children were 30 months old, and a 90-minute home visit when the children were 36 months old. The Lehigh and University of California, Davis, researchers recorded details of all episodes of conflict, including whether mothers and children displayed compromise, justification or aggravation (simple insistence without explanation or threats), and whether there was a resolution.

In both sessions, mother-child conflict occurred an average of 20 times an hour, with a large degree of variation in frequency of conflict (from five to 55 times an hour) and the quality of conflict.

(Fifty-five times an hour?? And I thought my kid went on a button-pushing rampage some days!)

Researchers found that more active children who were less able to control their behavior had more instances of conflict than less active/more self-controlled kids. (Um, yeah…I have yet to meet a two-year-old with much self control.) Children who felt more secure in their relationship with Mom (mother’s availability and responsiveness, etc.) and their mothers were more likely to experience conflicts with adequate resolutions, not just “No, you can’t do that, end of story” and a subsequent fit. (Or is it that children whose mothers helped them find a compromise or helped them understand the reasons for a “no” feel more secure in their relationships with their mothers? Hmm…)

Posted by Sunshine.