So, like roughly one third of the world’s population, I’m reading Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth. Not because it’s the Oprah Book Club book, as it happens, but because the women in my real life book club chose it. Briefly, this work is about transcending all that makes up our “false identity” - the script we run in our heads, our obsession with objects, our need for recognition - and letting our real presence just be.

I went into the book with a lot of resistance. Any time I’m told “This will change your life! And if it doesn’t, it’s because you’re not ready!” I’ve got my back up.

But, as sometimes happens, this is turning out to be the right book for me right now.

And of course, I find myself hoping that the lessons in the book that appear to be taking root will help make me a better mother. It is, after all, one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have.

An opportunity? The other day, I had the boys in the car, and Henry, 3, popped out with, “Are we going to CVS?” I answered, “Yes.” “Oh,” he said, sounding pleased, “so I’m right?”

I hesitated for a second, and then asked, “Is it important to you that you’re right?”

Henry’s turn to hesitate. Then he said something that I couldn’t quite catch, but by the tone, I think I caught his meaning, which was along the lines of, “OK, now she’s being a dick.”

So naturally, I told him that he’s not ready to change, his false self is creating resistance, he needs to be more aware of his pain-body…

Actually, I had a good laugh, the boys joined in, and we went up and down every aisle at CVS looking at beauty products, cheesy toys, and candy.

One book perhaps doesn’t a Zen mother make, but I hope when they’re grown, the boys give me credit for good intentions. And I hope my “false self” is at least fun to hang out with. In the meantime, I’ll keep striving for enlightenment!

Posted by MommaSteph.