The kids/no-kids gap
I went to a huge family function Sunday (for a branch I haven’t kept up with very well), and was delighted to spot a distant relative who has always been a good friend of mine. But after the hellos and how are yous, I found myself grasping at straws to keep the conversation going. He doesn’t have kids, and I realized with dismay that talking about parenting stuff wouldn’t be nearly as interesting to him as it is to me.
No diaper disaster tales to exchange…no humorous kiddie anecdotes to trade…no parental angst to share…what else is there? Have I really fallen so out-of-touch with the non-parenting world? What on earth did I talk about before?
Then my brain shrugged off its lethargy, and I found myself asking him about his work, about his upcoming marriage, about his plans for the future. And he, in turn, asked intelligent questions about my life (and not just the kid part - about my own dreams and plans). We had plenty of catching up to do, and the hours flew by. What do you know - I am more than a mom, even when I don’t feel like I am!
In a few years, maybe we’ll be able to share parenting anecdotes, too.
Have you ever found it difficult to talk to old friends who don’t have kids, or does the switch from kid-centered to adult-centered conversation come easily to you?
Posted by Sunshine.
March 10th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
It’s funny because I’m still quite good at chatting/talking to people who have no kids about any kind of things (but keep in mind that I work out of the home, so I’m in contact with lots of people), but I realise that whenever I’m alone with someone with kids, the conversation seems to always be about the kiddos
March 11th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I’m pretty self-conscious about kid talk when I’m with people who don’t have them, because I’m so nuts about my children. Does that make sense? It’s like, if I had a fantastic pair of boots, I wouldn’t talk them up with someone with no fantastic boots, because, obviously, they’d be happier if they had those boots, too, so why rub it in?
But then again, I’m weird.
March 12th, 2008 at 4:27 am
LOL Steph! I tend to not do kids talk with people without kids, not because I think it’s rubbing it in, but because the people I know who don’t have kids just don’t want kids and I think they’d find it pretty boring! So, my asumption is always that it would just bore them…
March 12th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
I agree with mommasteph. I notice that I act differently around non-Moms since I know that they really don’t want to hear every detail of my 2 year’s day. I actually have “mom” lunches with fellow moms at work so we can use that time to share tips, gripe, laugh, etc about our kids. Then we usually talk about celebrities, tv, work, etc with my “non-Mom” friends at work. I try not to offer too much information about my daughter unless they ask (hey, if they ask, i am hoping that they are interested!).