Moms, I don’t have to tell you how exhausting parenting can be! There are theories and tips and recommendations for how to get your child to sleep, what activities she should attend at each age, and what his formerly unstructured free time should really look like. After all, nobody wants their kid to fall behind the norm, right? So we push and chauffeur and sign up and…drive ourselves (and probably the kids!) crazy.

I don’t know many moms these days with kids over the age of two or three who aren’t some form of overscheduled. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to get all of this stuff done - but how much of it is really necessary?

Rosa Brooks reminds us:

That mad swirl of activities? You get burned-out kids incapable of entertaining themselves. That homework you and your first-grader struggle through? It has zero educational benefit. That superhuman effort you make to protect your kids from every conceivable danger? It’s not necessarily helpful if it means they never learn how to evaluate dangers for themselves. Someday, our kids will have to function without us.

She blames the large-scale upswing of working moms for the increase in anxious, activity-filled parenting.

Only when large numbers of mothers did the unthinkable - found paid work - did Americans suddenly “discover” that truly effective “parenting” requires at least one adult to be focused 24/7 on the children and their “needs.” Surprise.

Brooks says that the recent downward trend in moms of kids under the age of six who work is because companies are not as family-friendly as they are profit-driven. How are moms supposed to cope with careers and kids when there’s that corporate/social demand to always give 110% to both?

I do think there is tremendous pressure on parents to do the popular culture-condoned right thing for their kids, but at the same time, surely we can learn from the parenting theories that exist without sacrificing our kids’ free time or our sanity. After all, they learn things from whatever they’re doing - even if that something is finger painting alone or chasing after older siblings playing soccer in the back yard.

Posted by Sunshine.