I love my kids to pieces, but whoever told me that going from 0-1 was harder than from 1-2 was apparently from a planet where babies are born self-sufficient. Having two kids fairly close in age can be tough, even on a good day. Here are my tips for surviving those first few months (geared toward families with an infant and a toddler):

Consider sleeping in shifts. My husband works second shift; he’s rarely home before 2am. My son sometimes screams from 7pm-midnight. Six weeks ago, neither one of us was getting more than three or four hours of sleep, and we were both miserable. (That, and if he pretended not to hear the baby crying at 4am one more time, I was going to invest in a cattle prod and a branding iron!) We sat down and talked about what we could do to maximize sleep for both of us. Now, he takes the baby’s night wakings - I realize this may not work for breastfeeding mothers, although if your baby will take a bottle, you could perhaps pump in advance for overnight feedings) - and I get up at six or so with both kids. He gets up around noon and gives me an hour or two of rest before he leaves for work. We are both much happier!

Housekeeping (or not). With a newborn and another small child to care for, your house probably isn’t your top priority right now. Still, it’s frustrating to deal with a messy living space on top of everything else. You don’t have to spend a ton of time cleaning every day in order to get things looking decent again - take our Martini Challenge, courtesy of the new Domestic Divas board. A ‘Tini Challenge is a mini-cleaning project you can do in fifteen minutes or less, and new challenges are posted daily Monday through Friday.

Let your other child(ren) help. Small children get jealous of their new siblings and have trouble expressing those feelings, so you’re likely to see some acting out from them. That can be hard to deal with when you’re also juggling your newborn’s needs. I’ve found that if I can include my two-year-old daughter in whatever I’m doing with the baby, she’s less likely to pitch fits and is more interested in what we’re doing instead of focusing on the fact that Mommy isn’t playing one-on-one with her. She hands me clean diapers or his bottle (I leave it on her table once I’ve made it and go to pick him up) or a burp cloth, and she loves to choose his clothes.

Nip frustration in the bud. As soon as you feel that “ARGH!” building up inside, take a step back and consider the situation. If you just plain need a break, put the baby and your other child in safe places and take five minutes to regroup. Remember that a little crying won’t hurt anyone (including you - go ahead and let it out if you need to; you’re not alone!), and a quick recharge does a lot of good. If you’re calm, it’s easier to calm everyone else down!

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This one is twofold. Take people up on offers to watch a kid (or both of them, hallelujah!) for a few hours. More importantly, be aware of your own emotional state. Postpartum depression doesn’t always show up right away, and it doesn’t always manifest itself as sadness, anger, or destructive thoughts (though these are definitely signs, especially when they don’t go away or keep recurring). If you constantly find yourself feeling “blah” or numb/distant, even toward things you normally like, you may have PPD. Ask for help - call your OB. Admitting you need help doesn’t make you a bad mom - just the opposite, in fact! You deserve to enjoy your children’s childhood days as much as they deserve an emotionally healthy mom. (If you are having destructive thoughts - thoughts of harming yourself, your baby, or your other child(ren), please seek help right away!)

This too shall pass! As rough as some of these early days may be, it won’t be like this forever! Try to focus on the positives (your baby’s chubby legs, his first smile - even if it hasn’t happened yet, your older child’s abilities, etc.) and keep in mind that these days are fleeting.

Posted by Sunshining.