One Virginia middle school has adopted a zero-tolerance policy regarding touch, and at least one student says it goes too far.

Seventh grader Hal Beaulieu found himself in trouble after giving his girlfriend a quick hug in the school cafeteria. (School officials said that the girl didn’t complain and that they have no reason to believe the hug was unwelcome.) All physical contact at Kilmer Middle School is banned. No hugs, no hand-holding, no high fives or handshakes.

On the one hand, I can see the administration’s point of view. School authorities say that not having such a clear rule would leave too much gray area as to what touch is appropriate or inappropriate in a school environment. Banning all forms of touch makes enforcement easier.

Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer’s principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.

“You get into shades of gray,” Hernandez said. “The kids say, ‘If he can high-five, then I can do this.’ “

Beaulieu’s parents feel differently.

They say they encourage hugging at home and have taught [their son] to shake hands when he meets someone. They agree that teenagers need to have clear limits but don’t want their son to get the message that physical contact is bad.

“How do kids learn what’s right and what’s wrong?” Henri Beaulieu asked. “They are all smart kids, and they can draw lines. If they cross them, they can get in trouble. But I don’t think it would happen too often.” Beaulieu has written a letter to the county School Board asking it to review the rule.

I’m not sure how everyone’s school experiences went, but I was always glad to get a hug from a friend after a rough day or a bad morning at home, etc. and would have been offended to be prohibited from even high-fiving a pal. As long as nobody involved has a problem with the touch in question and it’s not wildly inappropriate for a public setting, kids should be allowed to come into physical contact with each other.

The boy himself put it rather succinctly:

Hal said that he and his classmates understand when and how it is appropriate to hug or pat someone on the back in school and that most teenagers respect boundaries set by their peers.

“I think you should be able to shake hands, high-five and maybe a quick hug,” he said. “Making out goes too far.”

Thoughts?

Posted by Sunshining.